Love

It’s just an illusion,

an escape.

I don’t believe in true love,

Coz’ I know I will only end up getting hurt,

Disillusioned, again.

So, tell me.

People say fairy tales come true

White lies, stop it.

As for me,

I’m fed up,

I’m scared,

Tired..

For all I know,

The only true love that I know,

The only true love that flows

Is the love from my parents’ hearts.

You might think I sound pathetic but I am not a great believer of true love anymore.

The true love that I can feel right now is that of God’s love. The love that He gives me every time He forgives my wrongdoings. The love that He showers me that every time I am in trouble, He will guide me safely, opening ways through my heart.

The true love that I feel also, the love shining from my parents’ hearts. The anxiety that they portray every time as I walk out of the arrival lounge of the airport. The look that says it all. The look that says “We miss you, my daughter and we have been waiting for you to come home” The very look that makes you want to hug them.

I have always thought I would be happy with a man in my life. That Valentine’s day won’t be Valentine’s day without flowers. But I was wrong. Everyday is a valentine’s day if you love the particular person. For me, everyday is a valentine’s day because I celebrate my love for parents every single day.

Valentine’s Day 2009 had taught me a wondrous meaning of love. While people were out, celebrating, drinking wine and dining.

I was in my bed, high with fever for the seventh day. And on that day, I received a message, saying that my father had been bitten by a puffer fish.

I have always thought I love my mother more than my dad. But seems like I had been wrong all along.

I put my phone down, and automatically I cried, and prayed that my father will be okay. And at that time I realized how much I love him. And that I realized, that I love him as much as I love my mum.

I have thought of the scariest question in the world: What will I do if my parents die someday?

Honestly, I don’t know the answer. All I know is, I’d give trade in my extra years to them so that we’ll live together, and die together. And with that, death will be more peaceful.

With the remaining years in my parents’ life. I couldn’t help it but to fear. Fear that I will lose my love forever. I’m scared, lost..

Tell me, what should I do?

Love is scary…